


Post-decimation

by di0zapeeRc



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Soul Stone (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 09:10:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18232850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/di0zapeeRc/pseuds/di0zapeeRc
Summary: My interpretation of what the Soul Dimension is like. This was a little Twitter AU I wrote on the fly during a day's worth of exams I was invigilating last year. Figured it's lost to the Twitterverse now, but I can always come immortalise it here.What happens after you die? More specifically, what happened to the victims claimed by the snap? Is it your own personal heaven, or your particular brand of hell? Peter Parker and Ned Leeds find out the hard way.





	Post-decimation

**Author's Note:**

> This is hella sad.

peter parker doesn't sleep. he hasn't slept since before. what before was like, though, he can't remember. all he knows for sure is that it hurt. it still kind of hurts. the kind of hurt where it's not so much pain at losing a limb, but discomfort in still feeling it there, when it's not anymore.

he's been here for hours, days, weeks, months - centuries. it's nice here. it's quiet, there are plenty of mr. delmar's sandwiches, and aunt may ALWAYS smiles when he comes home. they watch movies together every night. he has no homework. in fact, he has no school - ever. he asked may about it one night and she asked him what kind of self-respecting teenager wishes for school. she had a point. he stopped wondering.

in here, he never runs out of webs. his suit never gets damaged. he hasn't seen mr. stark in so long, but it's okay. he hasn't needed to. the avengers are on tv often enough for peter to know they're okay. everything is perfect. peter hasn't felt this light since before his mom and dad dropped him at ben and may's and disappeared.

so, why does everything feel so...off?

he reckons it has something to do with that incessant noise. it's like a yodeling. he hears it so frequently. sometimes quieter, sometimes so loud it seems to be blasted into his ears through headphones. it's so often that he even imagines he's hearing it in the silence. he doesn't even know if there is such a thing as silence here. it's just yodeling.

he tries to follow it sometimes. he runs after it - swings after it. he concentrates on it, trying to call it into existence at will. but nothing he tries works. it's like the sound exists only to torment him. he can't even ignore it, because then it gets so loud he wishes he could jam knives into his ears and deafen himself. he's slowly going insane.

he doesn't tell may, or michelle or liz or flash. he can't. what would they think? they'd ship him off to an institution! he wouldn't be able to live like that. so, he carries his burden in silence.

until one day.

one day, when it gets so loud that he screams crying about it, he calls, "HELLOOOO?! IS ANYONE OUT THERE???"

"peter?" a soft voice like rain on fall leaves answers.

"who is this?"

"it's me, pete," the voice responds. "ned."

_ned?_

does he know a ned?

he voices this out loud.

"y-yes? dude, you're freaking me out." ned, whoever he is, sounds nervous.

peter can't even place the source of the voice. "I'M freaking YOU out? why can't i see you? where are you talking from?!"

"i've been trying to reach you for days!" the voice comes back, outright scared now. "you left the bus to go the flying donut in the sky and never came back! where have you been?"

peter is stumped. this is insane.

"i've been here. at home. with may?"

"no way! may's been terrified, too!! peter, can we help you? just tell us where you are and we'll come get you."

peter has had about enough of this. "i don't know who you are or what you're talking about, but i'm gonna go now."

"no! don't hang u-"

had that guy been trying to say "don't hang up"? that's so fucking stupid. they weren't even on the phone. but that's what it sounded like.

he lay thinking about it in front of the tv that night. he and may are rewatching the jurassic park trilogy. funny how they're always rewatching stuff. peter would kill for a new movie, but it's like nothing new happens anymore.

well, except for ned.

whoever he is.

who is he, anyway? and how does he know peter? how had the two of them been talking? had he _called_ peter? how in the f-

"peter, honey?"

"yeah, may?" he sounded tired to his own ears.

"everything okay? you're uncharacteristically quiet and un-smile-y tonight." she sits up, turning her worried brown eyes on him.

he knows the smart thing would be just to tell her. she'd take him seriously if she could see how much it's been upsetting him.

he opens his mouth to answer.

a faint yodeling starts up from nowhere and everywhere at once.

"i gotta go," he says, instead, and heads to his room to grab his suit.

she doesn't stop him.

he changes on the fly, like always, and crawls along the wall of their building to the roof. once there, he parks himself and stares up at the sky.

"h-hello?"

"peter!" comes ned's voice again. "why'd you hang up earlier? is everything okay?"

peter scrubs a hand down his masked face.

"i'm sitting on the roof of my building, looking up at the sky, talking to a voice that i don't recognize - coming from someone i can't see. does everything _sound_ okay to you?" peter'd been going for hopeless, but it came out pissed instead. he doesn't understand what's happening and he doesn't care. he just wants this dude to stop ruining his now perfect life and take himself and his yodeling elsewhere.

"you really don't know who i am?" the other boy sounds small and sad now.

peter feels a twinge of guilt. he softens his voice. "no. i'm sorry. should i?"

then, comes sniffling. is ned crying?

peter feels like shit.

"i really am sorry. i didn't mean to make you sad! is there anything i can do? maybe if you told me a bit about yourself? about how we know each other?"

"y-you..." ned takes a big, shuddering breath.

peter makes himself comfortable on the concrete roof.

"we're best friends," comes the soft explanation. "we've been best friends for years. we've been through everything together. your first T-shot..."

another thing peter no longer needs.

"...my first robot... you've always been there for me. i don't understand what's happening."

"neither do i..." peter confesses. "i don't even remember my first shot of T."

he thinks long and hard, trying to recall something that should've been a momentous occasion, but he cannot, for the life of him, remember.

"you want me to tell you about it?" ned offers gently.

"would you mind?"

"i'd tell you about the laws of thermodynamics if it meant i could keep talking to you..."

peter feels oddly warm. he smiles. "then, go ahead? with the story, i mean. think i'm pretty much clued up on thermodynamics."

ned chuckles.

above peter, the stars appear to shine brighter.

ned's voice gets dreamy as he recalls the day, shortly after peter's 14th birthday, when the two of them got nervously into the car with may. she'd been teary all morning. she was so happy for her son. so happy he could finally start becoming who he knows he is. peter had been terrified, almost shaking with anxiety, but ned had reached around the seat, on the side of the door, to take peter's hand. he'd drawn soothing circles on the back and whispered reassurances. 

oddly, peter can suddenly feel it: a soft, warm pressure on the back of his right hand. he pulls the hand to his chest, grinning like an idiot.

ned keeps talking. he tells peter how they'd stepped into the doctor's office, still holding fast to each other, but smiling by then.

"do you think it'll hurt?" ned had asked.

peter'd responded with, "worth it."

this had put ned at ease.

in peter's mind, he sees the face of a boy with dark skin, bright brown eyes, shiny black hair - and the most heart-shatteringly beautiful smile he's ever seen.

"it did hurt," peter says suddenly. "it burnt like a bitch."

"i know," ned responds. "you winced, but i pretended not to see."

"i loved you for that." he doesn't know where exactly that comes from, but he knows it's true. he feels it like he can feel his own heartbeat.

except peter's heart isn't beating. he knows now it hasn't been beating for so long.

"i know." ned's voice is different now. "i know, because i love you, too."

every hair on peter's body stands on end. he jumps up and around.

"ned?"

peter can't believe his eyes. there he is: ned leeds, just as peter had left him on the bus that day. he smiles at peter.

"i'm dreaming," ned says.

"n-no," peter stammers, stumbling closer and pulling off his mask. "no, buddy. i'm right here."

"but i'm not." those words fall and smash on the ground as peter's arms slip right through ned, like he's the holographic display on peter's suit.

"where are you?" peter's voice takes on a panicked edge. he tries again to grab hold of his best friend, but he can't.

"i'm home, pete. i'm lying in my bed, sleeping like the dead - if you'll excuse the pun - after crying myself to sleep again."

"can i come to you?" peter makes to pull his mask back on, but ned raises a transparent hand to stop him.

"don't think so, dude. i think... peter, i think you died."

peter can't feel his legs.

"i...what?"

"don't you remember anything about that day?" ned pleads painfully with him to put it together.

peter tries to recall, but as with the memory of his first T-shot, he comes up empty. he has the former memory now, because ned told him. ned gave him a piece of his life back, but peter can't remember anything from before.

he can't remember anything from before he died.

"ned, i...i can't. there's nothing. i don't..."

"hey, hey." ned's voice is soothing again. "it's okay. i can help you. i c-"

and then he's gone. before peter's eyes, ned just winks right out of existence. peter takes a stunned step back.

"ned?" he calls. "NED?!"

 

 

peter doesn't know how long he stays up there, crying. it's light out by the time he crawls back in through his window. may is waiting for him in the kitchen, having just made a fresh pot of coffee. he sinks into the chair opposite her, still in his suit, and discards the mask onto the table.

she pushes a steaming mug his way. "wanna talk about it?"

at first, peter shakes his head. he isn't in the mood for talking. besides, he'd probably just cry the moment he opened his mouth, anyway. he drinks his coffee and tries to get a grip.

"i'm here, you know," may says, when the quiet stretches on into infinity. "i might not be ned, but i'm a good listener."

peter's head snaps up. "you know ned?"

"who?" she says, frowning. as she takes a sip, the steam from the coffee fogs up her glasses.

"ned!"

"why are you yelling? who's ned?" she says, swiping at the lenses with her sweater sleeve.

"you just said his name! you said "i might not be ned, but i'm a good listener"."

"i said "michelle". peter, are you feeling alright?"

he gets up and slams his half empty mug onto the table before taking off. he changes out of his suit and grabs some day clothes to change into after he showers. leaving the apartment, he pulls out his phone and texts michelle.

"where r u? need 2 talk."

"usual." comes her response a second later.

peter takes the subway.

at their favorite hangout spot - a bookstore with a coffee nook - peter finds michelle sitting at their usual table, sipping on what is probably a double cafe mocha - double chocolate, double espresso, double cream - and rereading The Handmaid's Tale.

he basically throws himself into the booth across from her.

she gives him a look over the top of her book. "is this caffeine and sugar withdrawal or are you in a mood?"

"do you know someone by the name of ned leeds?" peter gets right into it.

"should i?"

peter sighs in frustration, leaning forward onto his elbows.

"the guy has been my best friend for basically my entire life, and somehow nobody knows him."

michelle shuts her book without keeping her place. "listen, i don't know _what the fuck_ you're on about, or who this dude is, but you are currently talking to michelle jones - your  _actual_ best friend." she holds out her hand mockingly for him to shake.

peter glares at it and then away. "i'm sorry."

she sighs, too. "it's okay. you wanna tell me what's going on? maybe i can help."

"man, i hope so. first, though, can i have one of those?" he points to her coffee.

"sure. be right back." she slides out of her seat to take his order.

peter drops his head onto the table, trying to figure out how best to tell her without coming across as totally insane. he still hasn't solved it when she gets back.

"so, lemme get this straight: your best friend came to you last night in a dream, except it was _his_ dream, and the reason you can't go to him and why he's not here, is because you're somehow Dead and he can only communicate with you through dreams?" she pushes her mess of frizzy curls out of her face. the bright pink streak in her hair is extra luminous today.

"that's...pretty much it, yeah." peter squares with her over his coffee cup.

"has may been feeding you crack?"

"look, i know how this sounds, mj."

"do you, though? like, are you remotely even listening to yourself?" she looks at him exactly how he wanted to avoid.

"can you just, for one second, kill the judgement? just for once let's pretend you're not superior to me in every way, queen michelle, and that i might genuinely need help that is _not_ of the psychiatric variety. can we do that, please?"

the miserable sneer in his voice brings her around. she drops her head for a second, but then meets his gaze again and nods at him. "sure, pete."

"thank you."

"i love you?"

"i know. i love you, too," he sighs. "now, what the fuck am i doing?"

"you said he calls you, right?" she starts. "so, what if you tried calling him?"

peter would lean across the table to kiss her on the cheek like he does whenever she's being an absolute genius - which is always - except he doesn't have ned's number. he says this. the number thing, not the kissing thing.

"do you need it? if he's your best friend, you'll know it. you know mine, and i know yours. so, go with that. also, if you're gonna do it, can you go do it where no one can see you being weird? i have a reputation that is slowly losing its cred from all my hanging out with you."

"...and she's back." but peter smirks.

"you might be my best friend, but you're still a loser, parker."

peter flips her off. she returns the sentiment, going back to her book. as he gets up to leave, though, she speaks again, without looking up.

"if you don't die or are free tonight, do you wanna go to a super lame party at flash's house and help me humiliate him in front of liz?"

"still on the liz-tirade, huh?" peter quips.

"well, i couldn't wait for you forever," she says, still not looking at him.

he looks at his sneakers a minute, a pang of sadness in his chest. he's always known how she felt, but he could never reciprocate. he could also never figure out why.

"sure," he says, finally. "you know i can never pass up a chance to mess with flash. i'll catch you later, queen michelle."

"later, court jester."

peter ends up just ducking out into the alley. no one ever comes out here and he feels relatively alone.

he suddenly begins to wonder whether this is such a good idea. if ned needs to be asleep to contact him, then won't peter pushing from this end have negative implications for ned? he reckons that if ned was so desperate to find him again, then maybe this is worth it.

he pulls out his phone. opening it, he first checks through his contacts, kind of hoping ned's number will have magically appeared there.

no such luck.

oh, well. it was a long shot.

he closes his eyes and dials a random number. it rings and rings and rings, until a spanish lady answers and peter is left apologizing profusely and hanging up before she can finish yelling.

he tries another random number. this time he gets an "out of service" message. this is just great. how is he even supposed to do this? he feels so stupid.

"ned, i wish we could talk," he mutters, his phone still loosely pressed to his ear. "i have so many questions to ask you."

suddenly, there's a dial tone.

peter freezes, his blood running cold. could it be..?

"peter?"

"OH MY GOD, NED!!!"

"hey!! someone's happy to hear from me. you miss me, buddy?" his voice is warm and bubbly and makes peter ache with bone-deep longing.

how is peter supposed to explain to him that after seeing him last night, peter could finally put a finger on that "phantom limb" feeling? that hearing from him is the only time peter doesn't feel like his skin is always slightly crawling? how do you tell the one person you can't get to that you love them so much, you're convinced you reached them across dimensions just to hear their voice, because heaven isn't heaven without them here with you?

"a little," he answers. "where'd you go last night? you just poofed."

"oh, yeah. apparently, i was talking in my sleep and my mom came to wake me up. i have no idea how we're doing this right now. i'm not asleep. i'm actually at school."

"i don't know, either, but, ned," peter takes the plunge, "i need you to tell me how i died."

 

 

ned can't face what peter is asking of him. not right now. he's at school, for fuck's sake. so, he thinks fast.

"pete, can i call you back tonight? now's really not a good time. i wanna talk to you, but it's not safe right now. i promise i'll call you back. i love you."

"i love you, too," comes the sweetest sound ned has heard in a year, down the line.

ned hangs up.

just then, the bell rings. he turns to head to spanish, his mind on peter and their impossible conversation that night. he's barely taken two steps, though, before a strong hand clamps down on his shoulder. he's brought to an unsteady halt and swung around.

"you wanna tell me what the fuck that was, leeds?"

ned, long over the bully's shit, rolls his eyes at flash thompson and turns to leave again.

he gets the same treatment as before. he sighs this time.

"what do you want, flash? okay, i'm not in the mood."

"i want you to explain to me who the fuck you were talking to - because it sounded for all the world like our deceased friend, penis buttman parker."

ned pins him with an exasperated look. "you said it yourself, you actual oxygen thief: peter's dead. he's been dead for a year. now, can you back off? i know you like shitting in my cereal, but do you have to be downright cruel?"

but flash isn't done. "then, who were you talking to? know someone else named peter? huh, loser?"

"oh my god! just stay the fuck away from me, you morbid asshole. stay the fuck away, or i swear to god i'm hacking your phone and sending those disgusting text messages you and your dad's girlfriend send each other, to the entire school. does it look like i'm kidding?" ned stares him down, which is not impeded by flash being a head taller than ned.

flash takes a step backwards, and then another, and then another. "you're hiding something, nerd leeds. i know it, and you know it. i'm gonna find out what it is. you watch who you threaten."

"eat shit, gash thompson." ned throws at him, turns and flips him off over his shoulder.

in the spanish class, he takes a seat next to mj. she quirks her eyebrow at him, which is michelle-speak for "where ya been?" the rad thing about that eyebrow is that it has the power to 

mean a million different things, but once you're in with michelle jones, you're in with the eyebrow.

he waves her concern away and takes out his spanish binder, opening it at the part on adjectives and zoning out.

that afternoon after school, ned and michelle walk in companionable silence to michelle's car. it's only once their seated inside that she turns to him. he raises a hand at her before she can so much as open her mouth.

"save it, okay? i don't wanna talk. i just wanna go home."

she starts the car and starts backing out of her parking spot.

"you know it's been a year, right?" michelle drops.

"i know."

"so, why are you still treating me like i'm not him?" she doesn't even look at him. just focuses on the road.

he looks at her, though. he stares at her until his eyes begin to burn from not blinking.

"i don't expect you to be him. no one could be him. he's...peter. this is stupid. what are you even saying?" he faces forward in his seat and glares out the windshield.

"then, why is it you never let me in? i'm trying to be your friend, ned. i'm trying to be here for you, but you insist on suffering alone. it's bullshit, to be quite honest. no one's going to hand you a medal of valor for internalizing grief until you're so fucking depressed you can't even smile anymore."

 _but i do smile_ , he thinks. _i can't help BUT smile when i talk to peter._

"look, just drop me here, okay? i don't need this, and you clearly feel like you're wasting your time." ned gets ready to get out.

"I MISS HIM, TOO," she cries out of nowhere.

ned turns back, stunned.

"you're not entitled to him, ned. he's not YOURS. he's a person, and i miss him, too." she's breathing hard now, tears streaming down her face.

before ned quite knows how or when, he's crying, too.

she pulls over, then. when the car is parked, ned pulls her into a hug. the two of them cry on each other's shoulders for an hour, until they're empty of all the pent-up sadness they've both been carrying. ned almost tells her about his conversations with peter, but stops himself. she doesn't need that, too.

"i'm sorry, mj."

"i understand, you idiot," she says and takes his hand. "i get it. but you don't have to sit with it alone."

"thanks for being my friend." ned finds her eyes with his and infuses his words with as much sincerity as he can.

"i love you." she says this and starts crying again.

ned hugs her again. "i love you, too, queen michelle."

 

 

the party blows. they get there and liz is already mad at flash for something. who's surprised? sure as fuck isn't peter.

michelle goes over to chat her up. peter loiters near the drinks table, trying to decide if his poison for the evening will be flat coke or warm beer.

flash lets the playlist play itself and comes over to him.

warm beer it is!

"what's up, penis parker!"

"go fuck yourself, thompson."

"glad to know you brought your party attitude. what's eating you, anyway? i know it's not michelle. she's too busy hitting on my girlfriend."

peter sighs. "nothing. i'm just a bit out of it today. can't be paradise all the time, right?"

he nods like he totally gets it. "absolutely. no, i totally get it."

peter snorts, but masks it with a chuckle.

"you want something a little stronger than beer, though? i brought a little somethin-somethin from my dad's stash." he pulls a silver flask out of his pocket and holds it out to peter.

peter raises a hand to decline. "while i'm sure it will no doubt get me absolutely hammered and this is a party, i'm gonna have to pass. i'm driving home tonight."

"michelle jones has everyone by the balls," flash mutters and wanders back to his DJ station.

peter smirks to himself, wondering when exactly ned plans to call. he wonders if he'll even be able to hear over all this racket. slipping his phone out of his pocket, he discreetly wanders to a quieter section of the yard.

he has no doubt that this particular conversation is going to be hard, but he can feel in his gut that it's necessary. if he has any hope of getting out of here and back to ned, he has to remember how he got here in the first place.

his phone rings. a photo of ned flashes on the screen. suddenly, the yodeling is the sweetest sound he's heard in his entire afterlife.

"ned?"

"hey, man." his voice is soft and a little thick, like he'd been crying.

"woah. hey, are you okay?" peter sets the disgusting cup of beer down and focuses all his attention on his friend.

"fine. just a tough day, is all. anyway, i'm ready for you now." he sounds the opposite of ready.

"ned, dude, if you're not up for this right now, it can wait. i'm not going anywhere. you don't have to make yourself miserable for me."

it's like he can hear ned smile down the line. "i love you so fucking much."

now, peter smiles. "i love you, too, and i miss you, but it really can wait."

"no, it can't," says ned.

 _no, it can't_ , thinks peter.

"okay," he says.

ned takes a deep, steadying breath, and gets into it.

"does the name thanos sound familiar to you?"

peter shakes his head, but stops when he realizes how stupid he no doubt looks. "should it?"

"you went to another planet to fight him. titan. you got caugh-"

"...on his spaceship," peter recalls, now.

"on the flying donut in the sky."

"yes," ned verifies. "do you remember anything else?"

"i do."

( _mr. stark, it smells like a new car in here!_ )

"i got a new suit. there was a wizard. doctor..."

"strange?"

"yes!" peter says. "doctor strange. he was the sickest person i've ever met. you know, aside from you."

"can you stop flirting for one second and concentrate?"

"no promises..." is peter's response.

ned's voice has a smile in it again. "do you remember why thanos was here, pete?"

peter shakes his head again. fucking moron. "nope."

"he came here to collect all the infinity stones. he wanted to kill half of all humanoid species in the universe."

"he won..." peter whispers.

( _m-mr. stark? i don't f-feel so good..._ )

"he sn-apped his fingers," he breathes, eyes seeing it all before him now, "and...

( _i don't wanna go. mr. stark, please? i don't wanna go!_ )

"...i died," peter finishes.

( _i'm sorry..._ )

"i died... oh, god." he doesn't know when he sat down, but he did, and not a moment too soon. his legs definitely will not hold him right now.

"peter?"

but he can't make a sound.

"...pete?"

"but i'm inside it," peter manages. "that's what she said - nebula. i'm in the soul dimension."

"that's the avengers' running theory, yeah. they're all trying to break you out. we still have stephen strange, but everyone knows who we really need are bruce banner and tony stark."

peter is jarred back into himself. "what was that last part?"

ned is quiet for a beat before repeating: "i said we still have stephen strange..."

"impossible. no, ned, that's impossible. he died before i did. i saw him go. he gave himself up for mr. stark." peter's mind is working a million miles a minute.

"i'm so confused," comes ned's voice finally.

"how have we been able to communicate across dimensions, anyway?" peter asks. "i have spider powers. you're only human. something doesn't add up."

"maybe you're not real..." ned breathes, making peter's chest clench painfully. "michelle did say t-"

" _you have michelle with you?!_ " peter is on his feet now. "but she's here with me! wait, didn't you also say you have may? she's here with me, too."

"nothing makes sense," is ned's assessment.

"actually, everything makes sense," it dawns on peter, "if you're dead, too."

 

 

 

 

ned slides off his desk chair to walk around his room, but his legs refuse to carry him. he ends up in a heap on the floor.

"peter, what the fuck?"

"no, come on, ned. think about it, alright?" peter sounds possessed. ned is breathing heavily. "how else is all this possible?"

"but i don't..."

"remember dying? yeah, neither did i. what i can't wrap my mind around is how you're grieving that side, but i'm living in my own personal heaven over here. what gives?"

ned hangs up.

this is too fucking much. what the fuck???

he calls mj.

"jones, am...am i d-dead?"

she doesn't answer. ned knows she's there, because he can hear her breathing.

"miCHELLE?!"

"yes." her answer is quiet, but emphatic.

"are you dead?"

"yes."

"is everyone we know dead?" ned asks.

"not everyone. my dads are still alive. i haven't seen them in a year. i haven't seen liz, either. so far as i can tell, it's you, me, flash and peter's aunt may. some of the avengers. other randoms. no real rhyme or reason. i just know we're dead, because i haven't had a pulse since i woke up here one morning a year ago."

"and you kept this from me?!" ned is hysterical now. he's been grieving, all by himself, for no reason. peter's not in an alternate dimension. he's here! ned just has to find him.

"we gotta find out for ourselves, ned. that's the rule. if someone tells us... well, let's just say there's a reason peter isn't here with us." she sounds tired, but a kind of tired that ned has never heard before. like she gave up months ago.

"mj, where is he? where's peter?" his voice shakes, but he's determined.

"retroflexive post-mortem dementia," she says. "he was told how he died. he couldn't handle the shock. they keep him in an incubator now - or what's left of his soul. the rest of it lives in the Golden Pocket - heaven, but not heaven. you can't die in here, but you can rip your soul into so many pieces that it becomes near-impossible to put it back together again."

"can we get him back?"

"you can try. if you can coax him into finding the rest of his soul where he is now, he can come back to here. he just has to want it bad enough. they managed to bring back sergeant barnes, even without captain rogers."

ned feels like he's talking to a pre-recorded message.

"he was your friend, too, mj," ned says. "will you help me?"

it goes dead quiet on her end, but only for a beat. "yes."

"then, get your ass over here. we're not sleeping tonight until we get peter parker back where he belongs."

michelle hangs up.

ned calls peter back. he answers on the first ring.

"who is this?" comes...michelle's voice.

"c-can you please hand the phone over to peter?"

"i'm sorry. peter parker can't come to the phone right now."

muffled, but audible: "mj, give it back!"

a scuffle. then, "ned?"

"peter! i have news!!"

"lay it on me."

ned decides there will be plenty of time for filthy comments when peter gets back to them. he tells peter what michelle had told him. as he talks, the queen herself sweeps into his room and plops onto his bed.

"so, i just have to find my other half?" peter surmises.

"yup! think you'll manage?" ned sounds worried.

"if i don't, i know where to find you. i love you."

"i love you, too. good luck."

 

 

peter hangs up, eyeing the party going on behind him. he walks around the side of the house and leaves. no one calls after him.

because they're not real. his (after)life here is not real. where does he even begin looking?

he goes in search of ned's house. it takes days, or minutes, or weeks to find it. it's empty, though. he sighs and leaves.

next, he goes to the school. he scours the place, top to bottom, and finds nothing. he sheds a single tear and leaves.

he takes a car he finds to the avengers compound. he runs from room to room, calling out for absolutely anyone. it's empty. he leaves sobbing now.

tired on a level he can't explain, he heads home.

"peter, sweetie? is that you?" may calls from the kitchen.

"hey, may!" he tries to put on a brave face for her, even though he knows she's not real.

"i made your favorite! you wanna go wash up before dinner?"

peter heads to her instead, walking across the living room. it seems to go on forever. by the time he finally gets to the other side, may's long, auburn hair has grey in it. her skin has a papery texture.

"there you are," her voice cracks softly, but she smiles. "it took you some time, but you made it home eventually. i made your favorite every night until you got here."

peter's heart breaks at the sight of her. what has he done? how long has she been waiting?

"i'll wait for you forever, peter. forever..." her voice is barely croak.

"but you're not real," he remembers. "i dreamed you up."

her eyes sink back into her skull. her hair falls out. most of her teeth rot as he watches.

"but what a dream it's been." her smile is the stuff of nightmares.

peter swears he feels his soul leave his body.

his soul.

he understands now.

"may, i love you," he cries, tears refracting the awful sight into a million pieces, "but i can't stay. i have to go home. i'll find you. i love you, may - forever."

 

 

 

 

everything is dark, at first. he can't see, hear or feel a thing. it's so lonely.

but then a portal of light forms at his feet. around him, he feels fluid drain. he sinks slowly to the bottom of the chamber. even though he was floating in what feels like jello, he's not wet. a loud beeping sounds up and then a crack of light forms directly in front of him, too.

it's a door!

he hobbles towards it on unsteady feet. 

when it's open all the way, the first thing he sees is the face of a boy with dark skin, bright brown eyes, shiny dark hair and the most heart-shatteringly beautiful smile peter has ever seen.

"ned," he croaks.

all ned can do is cry. he pulls peter to him. they cry together.

 

 

it's 2 weeks later and peter and mj are in a book shop with a coffee nook. they're drinking double cafe mochas. he's leaning his head against her, drinking in her smell like old books and dried flowers.

"thank you for taking care of him," peter whispers. "thank you for being my friend."

she takes his hand under the table. "i love you." she presses her lips to the top of his head.

it's a week later and peter is watching ned smile and they're still stuck in the soul dimension, but at least they're together and rewatching the same old movies with may.

it's during _empire strikes back_ that may offers to go make hot chocolate and peter's phone rings. doctor stephen strange needs him at the old avengers tower. he says he'll be there soon. ned looks sad that he's leaving, but peter promises he'll be back soon.

he wants to kiss ned. so, he does. peter pulls him to his feet and kisses ned hard and deep enough to make both their heads spin and imprint ned's taste permanently onto peter's lips.

when he pulls back, he wants to tell ned he loves him. so, he does.

ned tells him to go save the world. so, peter does.

**Author's Note:**

> Told you.


End file.
